Ramble On

Ramble On

The other day, I wrote about restarting the clock for my 3 months of depression and anxiety interruption free life.  When God gives you a dream, sometimes you also get an ear infection.  Yes, I am an adult with EAR INFECTION PROBLEMS.  I am thinking it runs in the family.  Without making me sound like an alien, I have weird ears.  non of the iPod ear buds have ever fit me.  They always hurt and fall out.  I have to wear over the ear headphones.  and my Momma has the same issues. I think we have super small inner ears, kind of like a little kid do which make our ears not drain as easily as as they should.  This is my 3rd inner ear infection in as many years.  It feels like I got body slammed on my head and the ear drum is gonna burst through. eew.  My Mom even told me that they talked her about putting in ear tubes to help her.  WHAT?! I thought that was for toddlers.

anyways, so fuck. I had to lay in bed. again. for like almost a fucking week!

crazy Lindsay brain is wondering meanwhile if I'm depressed therefor I lay in bed or if I got sick therefor I lay in bed, or if I lay in bed sick therefor I get depressed again.

Health is health.  or whatever.

Today I got outta bed, sang gangsta rap and called my bff KDK back home in Michigan.  That's a vast improvement.  I also ordered my fave accai butter bowl and green juice from amazon prime now for breakfast. (super fast delivery. I am not even awake yet by time it arrives. I highly recommend!! and it only costs the same amount as what you'd spend on gas going to pick it up.  if that's the only thing standing in between me and a healthy meal...sign me up!!)

HEALTHY!

but I am I TIRED AF?? YAS.  

I am drained.  Did this week count against my 3 months? what do you think?  I know it's ultimately up to me.  What do you think matters that I did that may or may not reset my three month clock?

P.S. no therapy this past Tuesday. but not totally fault as far as mental illness? No or yes?

Thanks for reading and listening. Typing this blog makes me feel somewhat real and social. 

PS I had a dream about buying weird long cigarettes.  which is gross. plus I quit smoking approx 10 months ago.  I wonder if quitting smoking and the health benefits out do the depression and anxiety negative health affects?  Sometimes I wonder a lot about that actually.  Anyway.

food for thought. literally. this type of nutrition helps your mind and your body! Just ask your friendly neighborhood nutritionist...aka Me!