Blog'antine Day 3

Hello! Today is Friday April 3, 2020. Day 3 of my Blog'antine, where I blog everyday the month of April while I'm quarantined until May!

I know I write about a lot of other topics other than mental health. Especially now that I'm blogging more often, not every single thing I write will be about mental health only. Although, honestly, my whole entire life revolves keeping my mental health in check. It's my top priority every day. I'm thinking that many of us are experiencing major anxiety or depression for the first time. If that's you, welcome to our club! It sucks! Here's some mental health ideas for you:

today's tips to stay sane, from a crazy person

1. Let's talk about therapy. It's amazing! Why would you not want to talk to an unbiased person who's only focus is you for 1 hour, once a week? And with all of the big and sudden changes in our lives, now is the time to start talking to someone before it becomes too big to manage. Mental health care providers are also working over time right now to help us get through these hard times. Maybe set up a joint session where you, and whomever you are quarantined with, talk to the therapist together? Sometimes just having that appointment scheduled can be a relief because you can dump out all of your frustrations at that time and try to keep it cool until then. As soon as Peanut passed away, I scheduled an appointment with my therapist for Eddie and I to talk to her about our grieving process, but also so that if Eddie had any concerns about how I'm dealing with it, he could bring it up at that time. Oddly enough, I seem to be doing ok for the most part, but if this had happened a couple years ago...oh boy. We would have been in trouble. I did not have the same coping skills then as I do now. and that's all thanks to lots and lots of therapy! Everyone is using telemedicine now, so there's no need to worry about having to leave the house. There's also apps that use  text/chat therapy if you are still too shy to show your face. I used talkspace for several months last year when we were in between insurance providers and it helped me immensely. The only awkward thing about it was when I moved from California to Michigan, I had to switch therapists as you are assigned a therapist from the state you currently live in. but the hand-off was seamless and the California provider was able to give my new Michigan provider all of my notes and copies of all of our previous chats.  Now is not the time to give up on finding a therapist, it's time to take control and empower ourselves. Keep making those phone calls and don't stop until you can find someone to talk to at a price you can afford.
2. Medication. I've seen a lot of talk in my online communities lately about having to go back on medications that help us with our mental illness. There's no shame in that. With psychiatrists now doing telemedicine as well, it's easier then ever. I think it should be accessible to us via phone call appts all the time, not just during lock down. Many of us with mental illness suffer from some form of social anxiety or agoraphobia, which makes it very hard to leave the house. I would have missed a lot less appointments if telemedicine was available all the time. I also understand that getting mental health services is a luxury to most people. It can be extremely expensive.  Almost all of our health care in this country is not affordable so when we need a surgery, or break a bone, we go into debt. Mental illness should be treated with the same regard. Sometimes, mental health is worth a little bit of debt. If you don't have access to credit cards (I'm one of those people because I have absolutely no credit history and couldn't use credit if weren't for Eddie), try contacting NAMI as they provide completely free services for mental health. They are nation wide so no matter where you live, you contact them and they will help you find what you need in your area. If I'm telling you it's that I think it's okay to go put services on credit cards, then you know that I truly think it's worth it as I'm a Dave Ramsey girl and despise using credit cards. but my goodness, we have been there and it probably saved my life.

I wanted to focus on the basics of mental health care today because I'm not doing particularly well today, mentally and emotionally, myself. I was sitting on the couch and realized it was 2 weeks exactly since I lost Peanut. and my grief has me aching for her. It was a morning full of tears and pretty loud sobbing. Then my mind went to that dark and awful place where my biggest fears are and the thought of Eddie even getting sick....I just can't lose him. I can't handle much more grief right now. It doesn't help that whenever I cry I get a sore throat and then start to think I'm getting sick. I've never been so terrified to start feeling sick. See how my thoughts are pretty dark and scary, and yet right now, all over the world, there are billions of people harboring these same nightmares? It's awful and tragic and some how there is solidarity in it as well. After this breakdown I had this morning, I felt like I the day just could no longer get better and there was no more potential in the day. What I did next was crucial. I got up, brushed my teeth, changed my clothes and listened to some loud music and then went on a short walk. The sun felt like it blinded me when I first got out there but then I felt the warmth and I moved my body and used my muscles and by time I got back home, I felt brand new.

I just want to openly state that yes, I absolutely am suffering. Yes, my mental illness is festering. Yes, staying in everyday is triggering thoughts of my past. I'm having a hard time with my appetite and my muscles ache continuously from the stress. Just because I've gotten better over the years doesn't mean it hasn't gone away. I just want to be clear with you all, and be open and honest and transparent. and If I feel this bad, there must also be people who feel the same, or worse, and to think that most of these other people don't have therapists and that thought just...terrifies me. I can't imagine not having access to mental health help. Your mental healing journey starts at these 2 basic steps, therapy and medication, everything else can wait until after. Please do what you can to help yourself and help others. and now more then ever, please know it's completely fine to contact me in any way. I'm here for you all. Thank you for being here for me. I'll see you back here tomorrow!