Hello lovelies! Sorry I couldn't make it yesterday. Sometimes some days just take way too much energy to do even the usual stuff and it's not fair for me to write this to you if I'm not going to use some really good energy to pass on through my writing so there's the good on that. To be honest, as always, my face effing hurts so bad. No, I didn't fall on it again. but it does feel like someone punched me on the left cheek. It's my cystic acne and it's flared up so bad that as I've mentioned before, I've developed a couple really sore spots and some are deeply infected. I know it's gross. It hurts so bad though. I post a ton of selfies and it's not that I'm editing them out per say but I have the type of acne cysts that are super deep and don't show a ton of color difference on the surface but there's a hard bump. I mean, I'm grateful that they aren't the type that are super noticeable but the bad part is that these are small infections deep under the skin and eventually they do leave scars. As I've mentioned before I've struggled with the return of my cystic acne due to wearing face masks in public. (I realize that hormones are also the main cause of these issues but I haven't had it this bad in over a decade and the only new thing it coincides with is this super stressful pandemic and wearing face masks) I went back to my dermatologist super early Monday morning (yuck!) and we found some new things for me to try that aren't going to send me to the emergency room like last time. We are going to try the supposedly pregnancy safe keflex antibiotic and a topical cream called epiduo. If you have used either, please chime in! I'm really not looking forward to the keflex because it's main side affect is STOMACH ACHE and haven't we had just about enough digestive pain?! Chances are my insurance won't cover epiduo so I'll let you know how I find my way through paying for that one since learning how we can get medications covered is something we could all benefit from. I also have some really painful little breakouts on the corners of my mouth and I can't seem to get the skin the calm the eff down but it's a work in progress. I'm going to be super gutsy here and take a quick selfie and post it real time with no fun filters or anything extra. Just me and my super broken out skin. I'm just thankful that I'm wearing a mask in public to cover it up... but isn't that what's making it worse?! I've had some form of acne literally my whole life so take me as am! I added my real time selfie to the bottom. Real. Ass. Human being here.
Anyways....didn't mean to bitch about my super privileged white girl problems but the pain in my skin is distracting. I definitely realize how good I have it all the way around, believe me! I want to bring up politics real quick. Only to tell you that I straight up cried watching the news this morning while Eddie and I ate breakfast because the anxiety over the responsibility we have to vote and help our fellow human beings is so strong and palpable. I'm really stressing over it and educating myself as much as possible but also realizing I need to take breaks. It's like, I want to learn everything I can about who I can vote for locally and federally but I also just don't want to talk about it. Does that make sense? I just don't want anyone to think I'm avoiding the subject, which I guess I am in a way so that I can focus on mental health in this blog and on social media, but also isn't who we are voting for to lead our government important to our mental health as well? What about access to mental health care and who provides that care? and who can afford it? Those are things I'm really looking at right now. What are your "wish list" or dream items that you look for a in a politician or leader? You don't have to tell me, but maybe we should think about what we want. I think that's important.
I want to end things on a warm and fuzzy note. Bean is such a joy to have here at our home. She's really blossomed into a goofy and spastic kitten with a truly vibrant and curious personality. I'm just so blown away every single day by how much joy having a cat in my life brings and how much it heals my soul. I could come home with negative energy in every sense of the way and see her and play with her and just take in the love she lends me and it relights my fire. I'm just crazy about her. I'm crazy for all animals really. Gosh, if I can love a cat so much and build a life around nurturing that love then I just imagine what it would feel like to be able to experience that by bringing another human being into our home, yah know like a baby or something. I pray everyday for the chance to give that love to a child in any capacity. I have so much love to give. I hope today you feel loved and that you know if you need a friend I'm here for you. <3
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| my sore skin and breakouts |
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