Sayler beach
Sunday, July 13, 2025 1pm 74 degrees
I'm glad it's my lucky number 13 day because I am once again asking for this beach to change my mood. I literally went through 5 different emotions on the way here because that's just how life is right now. I woke up this morning with delusions of grandeur that I would arise early and in time to drive by myself out to the big lake just in time for peak sunning hours (10am to 2pm for all of you 90s era sunbathing beauties). I woke up just fine. But as maybe you’ve noticed, or haven’t noticed, lately by these beach blog posts, I am not feeling my best recently. I’ve been feeling out of my routine since being on a road trip vacation and then diving into the junk food and day drinking extravaganza that Cherry Festival is in Traverse City.
I ran out of energy. I thought, maybe, today I will just stay inside. I already got to two beaches this weekend so I should be fine. Right? I doom scroll. Then Eddie pulls up and I am forced to pull my head out of my ass and be attentive to my husband who only got one hour of sleep last night and has been quite literally working non stop since yesterday morning. After discussing some scary changes that are happening in our lives I decided, or re-decided, that I need to get to a beach afterall. I need to get my mind right. I should get out of the house and get out of my mind and into the sunshine. The only problem is he is on call locally because our staff are out driving all over the state for our business! It’s good to be busy! But that also means he needs to be available for a one hour call time.
Maybe I’ll go out to the big lake by myself after all? It’s not too late. It’s only noon. But gathering my towels and sunblock I realize tears are coming down my face. What is going on with me?? I don’t know but I shouldn’t be alone and I should get my husband out in the sun as well. We choose beach number #3 from my list of 13 beaches that will heal my soul this summer. It’s only 20 minutes away. We pull onto the street and are confronted with a long line of trucks pulling boat trailers waiting to use a boat launch. Where’s the beach? We find the tiny parking lot and after assisting two other cars in backing out and pulling away we find our own spot and tuck ourselves in.
Sayler beach has got a cute and crowded little parking lot and it's close to my home beach of Maple Bay. Maple Bay is another 20 minutes up the coast of grand traverse bay. It’s the first beach to ever heal my soul up here in northern Michigan. My summers didn’t feel complete the last 5 years since moving here unless I anointed myself in her waters. If you weren’t feeling right, you could always count on Momma Maple to give you what you needed while you swam in her waters. But things change in our lives. People come and go. Friendships burn bright or fizzle out. Jobs and school schedule changes. People change. Sometimes we need to change the things we do. That’s why I decided to try 13 new beaches this summer. Not because I wanted to find a new “home beach”, Maple Bay will always be “that girl”, but I just wanted to show myself that even in rest and relaxation- I can go out of my comfort zone and try new things. There’s more to see and you really should see it, even if your current view is gorgeous. You’ll never know what you’ll find. I’m hoping to honestly find myself. What will Sayler find for me?
I felt like I was walking through a campground to get here. A short winding path past a pavilion and volleyball court. There were lots of people milling about. The UV index is 8 and the sun is bleaching my shitty attitude today. I lay out my sheet and towel and bake myself in more ways than one. I could fall asleep. But there’s so much to talk about! We look at pinterest boards and I make notes of projects we have coming up. Eddie and I do our best planning and counseling of each other outside. Whether on a walk, or in front of one of our bonfires or at the beach. I flip over and over and although it’s warmer today, neither of us are feeling very swimmy. I feel even too groggy to move from my towel to stick my toes in. This is a small beach. There is much activity from boat after boat being put into the water. I watch families embark on their Sunday afternoon’s activities on the waters of Grand Traverse Bay. They eat sandwiches and drink sodas. Families with kids scream and play nearby. It feels a little crowded but I’m still comfy. I ask Eddie what he thinks of Sayler beach. “It has the same view as Maple Bay” he says. That’s true. Same but different. Some things we have and keep and some things we let go. It’s a part of life.
After about an hour and 45 minutes, we decided to leave. I said earlier that fish tacos and margaritas sound really good. It only took about 20 minutes to decide that we should most definitely make that happen. We drove to a tiny place nearby that we hadn’t been to before. We heard the Mexican food was amazing. We were the only people there when we walked in. But we soon realize they do not have fish tacos or margaritas and that just won’t do. Eddie makes a sad face and I know it’s because we can’t stand to see other business owners work so hard and not get the business they deserve. We sympathize with someone who works so hard to make a place warm and inviting and make every detail just right but people still don’t want to come visit. It can be heartbreaking. But we tell the girl working counter, who I’m sure couldn’t care less, that we’ll be back another time because we will!
We walk back out to our car and it hits me that I can put into words what’s really bothering me today. “I’m scared to leave our home and live somewhere else. I know that it’s us that’s done the hard work to make our lives into what they are now, but I can’t help but attribute how good our life has gotten to the home we live in. Look at everything we’ve accomplished in the last 5 years!”. It’s true. We have come a long way in all aspects of life since moving into that house. It’s my true comfort. My little blue cottage. Can I really handle embarking on grad school while moving, painting, remodeling, and then I’m also dreading letting someone else live in a place that is sacred to me.
But, we can’t let go of the opportunity to invest in our future. So although it isn’t for sure, the fact is that at some point we will be moving away from this house and renting it out. It’s a huge blessing. To be able to have 2 homes?! It’s giving “poor little rich girl”. Lol we all know we are not rich by any means. We just chose to take the risk. It’s like the question I posed yesterday about whether you would choose the unknown and get more than you imagined or would you choose the known and know exactly what you're getting? Both have their ups and downs. We hug it out, right there in the parking lot and I feel free now that I finally put what’s been bothering me in words. Saying something out loud or writing it down is like witchcraft. It gives you power over the words. It makes the worry tangible. It goes from being a big, bad, scary feeling to something you have power over. Try it right now! Say what you’re afraid of out loud. I’m sure there's something. We all have fears. We all have things that we keep in our lives that continue to hurt us. I challenge you to let them go. I challenge myself to give my worries up to God. I keep forgetting that’s what he’s there for. Everything has been fine thus far and it will continue to be fine. I chose to view it that way.
We drive to a place we know for a fact has a pitcher of margaritas and fish tacos. We go in all sandy and sandaled out. This is our town. We have no one to impress! After lunch we share a rinse off in our rock shower and ride our bikes to the store. This time we need more lemonade and berries. Then we chose a movie to watch outside. I cherish these summer nights and this time in our back yard where we have created a shagri-la. Although now sometimes my appreciation is a little clouded with sadness, I still love it, maybe even more now than I ever did before.


It hurts to love you
But I still love you
It's just the way I feel
My dearest friend, being able to love so deeply comes with the dread of watching it change. I am so proud of you and Eddie. My heart is with you during the scary times and the amazing ones and when they happen simultaneously. -Fran 💖
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